Who's afraid of corporate slogans?

Marketing is hard. And I feel truly sorry for those marketiers and advertising execs that need to come up with slogans, visions, and mission statements for software companies. Sometimes those taglines are pure nonsense, others are content-free. Rarely do I find one that really speaks to the values or the offerings of the respective company. I assembled a list of taglines from software vendors that I track but I won't evaluate their particular quality. Make up your own mind what makes sense and what does not.

• Actuate: Improve Corporate Performance Through 100% Adoption of Information
  
• BEA Systems: Think Liquid
  
• Cognos: The Next Level of Performance
  
• Hyperion: Breakthrough Performance Everywhere
• Informatica: Reduce Complexity. Ensure Consistency. Empower the Business
• Information Builders: The Standard for Enterprise Business Intelligence
  
• MicroStrategy: Best in Business Intelligence
• NCR Teradata: You've Never Seen Your Business Like This Before
  
• Qliktech: Simplyfying Analysis for Everyone
  
• SAP: End-to-End Insight for Intelligent Business Operations
• SAS: The Power to Know
• Tibco: The Power of Now

Of course, nothing will ever beat the corporate slogan of German retailer Douglas: "Come in and find out". ROTFL! The best mission statement that I ever came across is from Dilbert-creator Scott Adams: "Rubbing my bald spot once a day." Brilliant.